Anyone else find themselves speaking and realize people might have no idea what they're saying? This happens to me a lot. For one, I speak really fast sometimes, like really fast. Like so fast my tongue once went numb and I had to go do neurological tests to make sure I didn't have a stroke. Turns out I just talk too fast. Also, I tend to make up my own words and phrases sometimes have weird meanings.

For example:
  • Chicken (noun or adjective) (adverbial form: chickenly)- something that is cute, adorable, too cute to even put into words. Does NOT mean scaredy cat or refer to birds. Pip is a chicken. Sometimes she is a chicky. When she does cute things (rub her nose with her paws, sit, breath, walk) they are chicken, ie: "Look at this little chicken eating her food, it's very chicken."*
I mean seriously, look at this baby chicken.
  • ICE (phrase) - ICE is often used in text form and stands for the spoken I Can't Even and is often paired with a dismissive hand wave. It means, I can't go there in my mind, it's driving me crazy. Or, it is so insane, I cannot even understand and therefore, won't even try. Or, it's too emotional and I can't get into it. As in: "Today at work was so ridiculous, I can't even..." [hand wave]. Or "Omigod, did you SEE [redacted's] blog post today, I CAN'T EVEN." Or as below "Oh my, look at the chicken. ICE" See also: Don't Even and I Can't Go There.
"Paparazzi? Seriously, hand me a drink, I can't even..."
  • Funsies (noun) - A jennification of "Fun." Straightforward: "Maybe we can go to the park later, for funsies." See also: Onesies, as in "There are a lot of things we can do...for onesies, we could have a picnic.." After listening to myself speak a bit, I realize -sies is an ending I add to a lot of words: Samesies, Twosies, etc.
  • Ridiculous and Obnoxious (adjectives) - I used these two as defined by Websters ("Deserving or inviting derision or mockery; absurd" And "Extremely unpleasant," respectively). I just overuse such a way where it is truly..obnoxious. And ridiculous. As in: "God, I really love the visuals on Beyonce's new video for "Best Thing I Never Had," but I find the song obnoxious." Basically, unless I deem something lovely, I probably find it both ridiculous and obnoxious.
Here I am thinking up great phrases and word ideas, no- that's ridiculous, I'm just kidding. Here I am eating breakfast. This is also an example of obnoxious as in, it is obnoxious how many photos of myself I am putting in this post.
  • Wack-a-doo (adjective) - crazy, nut-so, making weird decisions. As in: "I don't know why Kim Kardashian was in my dream last night, I'm clearly wack-a-doo."
Clearly, a wack-a-doo.
  • Professor Crapenstein (phrase) - used in place of an expletive. As in: "Oh, Professor Crapenstein, I forgot to change the laundry!" I legitimately have no idea where it came from.
  • The face that goes with Professor Crapenstein.
And then there are the nick names:
  • If I say "Erk," Erky," "Erky M'Gurky," "M'Gurk," or "BIL" (pronounced Bill) I am referring to Eric.
  • If I say "Sisto," or "Lou" I am referring to Olivia.
  • If I say "mini M'Gurks" or "Lil Gherkins" or "mini Gurks" I am referring to Olivia and Eric's some day children.
  • If I say "Nilloc" I am referring to my brother, Collin.
  • If I say "T-bomb" or "T-rex" I am referring to baby sister, Tess.
  • If I say "Shmalex" I am referring to Alex/Sasha.
  • If I say "Akats" I am refering to Andrey.
  • If I say "Melo" I am referring to Melanie.
Does that help? Do I make more sense now?

*If you type the word chicken too much, it really looks weird and looses all meaning.

What words/phrases are all your own? I'd love to hear (pilfer) them!


  1. I think we'd get along quite nicely in real life. Not only do I have ridiculous (hehe!) nicknames for everyone in my life, I also take on special voices for each of them, which are entirely unplanned and out of my control. :)

  2. Ha! I love it. We love your blog, too!