Happy Monday Readers! I am feeling particularly refreshed this morning because I just spent a beautiful week away in the Caribbean visiting the USVI (United States Virgin Islands). I know, I know I’m sorry how could I do that to you – tell you about my fabulous vacation while you were here shivering into your office cardigans. I promise, I have a purpose. The trip away really reminded me that it is always good to take time for your relationship. Getting out of Hoboken and our apartment helped Dan and I relax and have fun without worrying about the day-to-day rut we found ourselves in these past few months.

Even if you’ve lived with someone for years and your relationship is solid, I suggest making sure you two have plenty of couple’s time. Yes there is the ubiquitous “date night” – an obvious marketing ploy for clothiers and restaurants albeit well intentioned – but making time for each other is vitally important. The trip we took made us appreciate each other, the beautiful surroundings we were in and appreciate the time we have with each other without any distractions. Sometimes work, friends, family, bureaucracy (!!) and life in general can cloud your vision and you can lose sight of what makes you happy. Don’t ever forget that the person sharing your home and bed is number one in your life. Don’t let him or her get lost in the shuffle and taken for granted. We all need to feel loved and appreciated even if you think your partner knows how much you love them, you should make the time to SHOW that love. Quality time is the best way to remember why you guys are together in the first place.

Ok, so maybe you can’t spirit away to the South Seas for a week like I just did, but that doesn’t mean you and your love can’t make time for each other throughout the week! Here are just a few ideas to make time for each other during the week:

• Turn that dang phone and/or computer off! Leave work in the office where it belongs. I am the A #1 culprit of working after hours when I should be spending quality time with Dan. Stop it! The world will continue revolving when you turn your iPhone or Blackberry off when you get through the door of your apartment. The same goes for your computer – no emails, no IMs, no communication with clients or coworkers about work after you get home. That time should be spent making dinner, watching TV or a movie, going out for a drink or just conversation. You know, the reason you want to be around this person sharing an apartment with you?! All kidding aside, make sure to make this practice a habit. Having your full and undivided attention let’s your partner know that he or she is appreciated and that you are fully interested in spending time together.
• So you can’t get away for a week, well maybe you can get away for the day or the afternoon. Taking trips or having a planned activity is a great way to bring you and your partner back to common ground and remind each other why you’re together. This can be as simple as a trip to the beach or to the woods for a hike. It could also just be an extended Sunday brunch or a long walk around your city. Keep friends and family out of the plans – I know, I love them too, but these times should be about you and your lovey. Giving them your undivided attention is a lot easier without other people around.
• Make sure that your busy schedules allow for a standing “date” time. If you can’t turn that computer off because you have so much work OR you can’t make Sunday brunch work, each week should have a few hours built in for you two. This can be really fun and add some flirty fun into your relationship. Meet up every Thursday at your favorite restaurant for appetizers and drinks. Maybe make a plan to see a new movie every Tuesday and pick up your favorite candies at the drug store before hand. Or if you want to be extra sassy, have something new planned each week and drop hints throughout the workweek via email. This is a simple and fun way to make sure that you’re giving your relationship the TLC it needs.

Even the most perfect relationships can hit a romantic rut. Make sure that the person you live with feels like a partner in love (and housekeeping!) and not just like a roommate who splits rent with you.

One Comment

  1. Great tips, Ali! I know E and I are def in need of a getaway together...yesterday we spent the day hanging with each other in the apartment and it was great to just be with him all day!